Taking Control. Making Decisions

"When you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true." This is the fundamental philosophy of Paul Coehlo's book "The Alchemist". He also reflects that "the greatest lie in the world is that at some point we loose the ability to control our lives, and become pawns of fate."

I came upon these thoughts when researching a story I've been using recently with my business English students and Springboard group. The story I shared comes from Nick Owen's book "The Magic of Metaphor: 77 Stories for Trainers..." The story itself, taken from The Alchemist, is about the secret of success lying in us using all our senses to truly appreciate the world around us, while at the same time taking care of the essentials in our lives. Something definitely worth exploring further. However, this blog is about how what I read after the success story connects with what I currently have on my mind.

By sharing these thoughts "out loud", I want to alert the universe so that it can conspire to help my wishes come true.

One wish in particular which I have just dared to formulate, is to return to the UK and continue my career in training and development within a large corporation. I wish to be back within a couple of hours driving distance of my extended family: my (aging) parents and in-laws, my sisters & brothers-in-law and their growing children; my cousins and their families with whom I so enjoy spending time. I simply want to return to my familial tribe. While gaining on that front, I also want to apply my skills and experience, gathered over the last 13 years of self-employment, to a new environment. I want to have the experience of being part of something bigger than just me. Hand-in-hand with my intrinsic needs, I also want to benefit financially. To finally have a regular, secure income: no more back-tax repayments, struggling to meet all the German social insurance payments and constantly running to refill my overdraft.

On the surface, taking into consideration current circumstances, this is highly unlikely to happen. My immediate family, husband, daughter and son, don't feel the same way. So I need some back up support from the aforementioned universe! That doesn't mean to say I don't accept responsibility for my own destiny - I'm certainly no pawn. I want to take control of my own future and decide how I want to spend the coming years. Don't get me wrong, I haven't been held captive against my will the last 16 years in Germany. I've enjoyed a happy, comfortable, varied life. I've been able to enjoy spending time with my growing children and build a home for us all here. It's something I've got on with because I didn't really have any other choice.

I do have choice. And I want to exercise my right to choose where I live and work.

Inspirational

Sitting in departures of Glasgow airport waiting for my gate notification, the running digital ad board alongside the info board, was showing a promo:

“Scotland is inspirational in many ways.” “How has Scotland inspired you?”

Where the conference took place: The SECC

Being in Scotland this week has inspired me greatly. Not because I was in Scotland but because I was at the IATEFL conference in Glasgow. The fact that it was my first experience of IATEFL and it was in Glasgow will be inextricably linked for me. What a friendly city.

As clichéd as that may sound, I found it to be absolutely true. And what a friendly, approachable, welcoming lot the IATEFL crew are. On Sunday when I was unsure about where to go for the pre-conference associates’ dinner, my Twitter plea for information was answered by the President no less!

Springtime in Glasgow

 Now, despite my post-conference fatigue, I can say I’ve felt inspired this whole week in Glasgow. My first ever IATEFL Annual Conference. I’d never made the effort before thinking the distance, inconvenience, time and energy needed to get me there and through the whole experience just weren’t worth it. As a small, freelance teacher of mostly in-company BE courses, what could IATEFL offer me? There would be mostly “proper” teachers; people who became teachers by design rather than by accident and who subsequently take ELT very seriously.

 Those people are definitely there – in their thousands. What I discovered is that I fit right in! I met up with people I know and struck up conference friendships with new people – colleagues with whom I intend to stay in touch.

Colleague, Helen Strong, meeting in the concourse

Instead of feeling like an imposter or a semi-fraud, I felt right at home! Indeed I found the whole experience extremely inspiring, stimulating, (re-)motivational and lots of fun. There are many different types of teachers at IATEFL, and I mean more than those from the different SIGs and therefore teaching with a different focus (business English, ELT for young learners,teaching full-time in schools – public or private). There are traditional English school teachers, the pragmatic “this is my business”, entrepreneur-minded and the real actual academics. I peeked into the world of ELT in academia where people study the process of teaching, the effects on learners of different types of teaching, the whole educational psychology aspect. It’s fascinating! There are so many big, “technical” words for language, language teaching, language learning – a never ending source of material for academic discourse. A whole other world from that which I inhabit on a daily basis.  And utterly fascinating.

 As well as conversing quite comfortably with the IATFEL President, I fell in with a number of renowned and highly respected ELT authors, with movers and shakers of the wider community, I chatted with representatives from the publishers, owners of international language schools. In other industries I could imagine the “famous” people being less approachable. At IATEFL, it’s much more a “we’re one big family” environment. Ultimately, everyone is a teacher and with that commonality at the core, building relationships and making connections is as natural as drinking gallons of coffee between the many talks and workshops during the conference!

Queuing for coffee

Being an international conference, meeting teachers from around the world was also very exciting – I talked with teachers from Cameroon, Ghana, Serbia, Poland, Turkey, Wales (!). Talking with some of them reminded me of how privileged we are in Germany in terms of infrastructure (unlimited access to internet) and good pay. And all the many different accents floating around the SECC!! People talking sometimes in their native language but often using English to chat between nationalities. A brilliant example of ELF in action! Personally, I found it quite strange – in a good way – to know that no matter who I wanted to speak to, I was guaranteed they would understand me and be able to confidently chat back. A refreshing change for an English woman living in a foreign country
So what I am ultimately saying. Being at IATEFL Glasgow was exhausting, at times frankly overwhelming. Ultimately, though, I found it highly professionally organised, varied, informative, fun and utterly inspiring. If you were also there, how would you respond to a banner ad flashing up next to the departures screen:
 
“IATEFL is inspirational in many ways. How has IATEFL inspired you?” 
Michelle.

Stephanie Ashford and I just before her and Tom's workshop

PS: Here are some pictures from the week. Thanks to Mike Hogan for sharing on Flickr: http://flic.kr/s/aHsjyJ2D5y

Holding My Horses

I’m all a flutter. Thoughts are continually whizzing around my mind; ideas popping like firecrackers on new year’s eve. A slow churning of subtle excitement and anticipation – a few nerves too – accompanies me during the day. And keeps me awake at night (well, one night so far, if I’m honest!)

What’s going on, you may well ask…

Nothing earth-shattering nor particularly monumental. I volunteered to be part of my local teachers’ association. The difference this time (I’ve been on the committee team before) is that my role is to chair the group. My experience of those who have gone before gives me a great sense of responsibility. It is a role which requires management and leadership; commitment to doing the best for the association members. It requires creativity and forward-thinking; clear and transparent communication between committee team members and the wider membership.

I’m also discovering, fortunately in the early stages, it also requires patience and an understanding of the nature of the people who make up the membership. It requires me to “hold my horses”!

As a person who thrives on new ideas, looking for different ways of doing things, being creative and getting things done, I have to avoid riding roughshod over others. Thank goodness the chair is but one person among a group of bright, intelligent, knowledgeable people. People who hold a gentle restraining hand on me, while supporting other ideas with enthusiasm and willingness.

Personally, it is disconcerting and frustrating for me when I hear cautious voices. Those who question my ideas and present an alternative perspective. On one level, I understand the importance and validity of those voices; doesn’t stop me from feeling annoyed, irritated and frustrated, though!

Feeling a certain way about something is OK – I firmly believe. It’s how we deal with those feelings that is important. As I want this experience to be a personal developmental one, I set myself the challenge of behaving like an “adult” (those who familiar with transactional analysis will know what I mean!).

So, I will continue to indulge my penchant for idea storming. Then I will listen to those around me and accept that not all of my ideas will be possible to implement. I will value the judgment and wisdom of my team and work on mutually agreeable solutions. I will hold my horses back for a certain amount of time.

Do I sound like a Chairperson yet? I’m really looking forward to doing positive, useful and interesting things with – and for – ELTAS. I will keep an eye on my passion while not allowing it to be dampened too much.

There now, there’s that churning excitement in the pit of my stomach. Potential, I love it. The start of something new and improved. Let’s see what the team and I achieve together.

I’ll keep you posted!

From Trainer to Coach?

It was something I felt unsure about. As a trainer, a significant part of my job involves informing, advising, actively guiding participants along a path I have pre-designed. As a teacher, there’s often an expectation to simple “tell”.

Coaches are trained to – well, not do any of that!

Nevertheless, being around so many coaches and reading so much about it as a “theoretical subject”, I wanted to find out more about coaching firsthand. And boy, did I!

I tell you, when you look in the market at who to learn with, there are so many coaching companies out there, all offering top notch programmes. In the end, I went for a UK-based coaching company – it’s a subject I needed to learn in my native language. Then, having had a couple of unrelated, separate recommendations for the same provider, I though it must be “a sign”! Plus, I was able to negotiate a good deal because the owner is a fellow Springboard trainer!! I signed up for the university accredited Business & Professional post graduate certificate with Barefootcoaching.

What a good decision it turned out to be. I found myself in a group of 9 other wonderful individuals. We worked and learnt together for a total of 12 days over a 3-month period. Each module we were treated to a renowned, published speaker with years of experience as coaches – John Perry, stress coach; sports psychologist and ‘Liquid Thinker’, Damian Hughes; and top executive coach, Tom Preston. Barefoot also invites US Thinking Environment founder, Nancy Klein each year. I was unable to attend that session but I find myself utterly convinced of her ideas (see my previous blog post!).

Coaching, as I have understood it, is all about listening. Training involves listening too, then with a degree of input or advice being expected. With coaching, the fundamental belief is that the client has the answer – whether they are consciously aware of it or not. Working as a coach, according to the Barefoot philosophy, I found myself feeling liberated. My natural habit has been to (half) listen to someone while trying to come up with a brilliant, clever solution for them. As is so often the case, we think a person with a problem is looking for an answer from us. What happens when they go away with our solution to their problem? Usually not much! For best solutions, we need to come up with our own – we know the ‘problem’ from our own perspective and we have the answer which will best fit us. The coach’s job is to facilitate the thinking process so that we uncover that best answer.

With Barefootcoaching, I have been exposed to a multitude of differing methods and approaches to coaching. For me, this was ideal. I am not a specific NLP- or systemic- or CBT-coach. I work with a mixture of methods and tools according to what I feel best suits my client’s needs. I feel myself to be unique; my coaching style is the ‘Michelle Hunter’ style of coaching. No doubt, as my experience grows, my style will develop, become more informed and richer. The more people I work with, the more I am learning. I’m already noticing how my new-found coaching skills are impacting my training courses and ELT classes. I may have initially been unsure about the value of embarking on a coaching course, now I feel it has been invaluable. I now have skills which add to my own personal growth, boost my current trainer skills, and which provide me another avenue of business.

So, friends! Spread the word – I am an English-speaking coach in the middle of Europe. Ideal for all you English-speakers living and working in Europe who could benefit from someone who will truly listen to you with the goal of moving you forward – professionally and/or personally (it's all about 'mobility'). It’s early days but watch out for news on more keeptraining coaching offerings in 2012. I’ll certainly keep you posted!

For now, have a wonderful, peaceful festive season.

When was the last time you felt truly listened too?

I’ve recently discovered something amazingly powerful and simply – well, simple.

Listening.

Being at ease, interested and totally focused on the person talking, I can give the gift of true listening. The results can be extremely powerful. How do I know this? I’ve begun to experience it on the coaching course I’ve just started. It’s early days and my fellow students and I are slowly getting to grips with it ourselves – along with dozens of other fascinating coaching tools.

“Ease creates. Urgency destroys.” Nancy Kline

The source of this philosophy is an American lady called Nancy Kline. Over a period of 15 years, she developed the “Thinking Environment”. Her book, “Time to Think” gives a full and detailed account of how she and her colleagues have worked through ideas based on listening to help individuals and organisations move forward. It’s a set book on our course and I would thoroughly recommend it to anyone who’s job or daily life revolves around communicating with others.

“A Thinking Environment is not just a theory and set of skills. It is a way of being in the world.” Shirley Edwards of Xerox

I’m nearly at the end of the book, at the part where she describes how doctors advised that her alternative course of action to deal with her cancer would kill her within a month. That was nearly 40 years ago. One major aspect of her experience was how the medical profession didn’t listen to her, treated her as something to be fixed without taking her – the person – into (much) consideration. A common trap for those of us whose mission it is to help.

“We think that to help is only to talk, to ask, to suggest.” NK

We believe, in our rushed, busy lives, that by delivering a quick answer or solution we’re saving time. But are we?

“To take time to listen thoroughly is to increase the total time available to you. Interrupting takes twice as long.” NK

Learning about thinking carefully and listening thoroughly, I started to see how this philosophy could be applied to teaching. Teacher Talking Time regularly pops up as an issue for discussion. I know I’m fond of talking about my favourite subjects. I like to show my students how wise, knowledgeable and well-educated I am by telling them all the ways they can improve their English skills. When given half the chance, they do actually come up with their own ideas for improvement. More experienced learners can often fix their own mistakes when given space to think in their own time.

“If you really believe that someone can think well for themselves, you do not feel the need to think for them… The quality of your listening will ignite their thinking.” Course notes, Barefoot Coaching.

Being aware of the power and value of listening, I’m going to test it out in my teaching sessions and see what impact my new skills have on my students. Away from professional life, I’m applying this new found knowledge at home too. And you know what? It’s actually a huge relief to not feel the need to come up with the solution all the time. Listening – truly, genuinely and actively listening is definitely a skill to be learned. The reward is more energy. Wracking your brains for the answer, trying to come up with the next pithy question before the other person has finished, or jumping in to complete the other person’s sentence – that can be exhausting. Sit back with ease, relax, keep your ears and eyes – and heart – open, and you’ll be amazed at how the other person blossoms before your eyes!

 

Teaching CLIL in an International environment

After listening with great interest to the discussions about Content Language Integrated Learning at the Professional Development conference last Saturday, I had my own first experience of CLIL teaching this week. I was asked, at very short notice, to step in and give a 2 1/2 day presentations skills seminar at a local university. Sure, no problem! I said. I currently run an in-company "Presenting in English" workshop. Adapting the material for this assignment should be no problem.

What I discovered was that my Presenting in English material was, pretty much, directly useable for straight presenting skills. Good to know that my English learners are benefitting from a strong emphasis on this essential skill. For me personally, the refreshing aspect was being able to focus solely on the presenting skills. Taking the emphasis off language issues was great!

Naturally, when the job is to focus more on the language than the specific presentation skills, I give my all to do that. What I discovered in the CLIL situation was how refreshing it was to pull back and monitor the overall effect the presenter had on the audience. The English teacher in me did hear the minor linguistic errors, occasional mis-pronunciations etc., but I could let them go and concentrate on the most interesting aspects: body language, voice power, presenter interaction, visual aids useage, power point impact and overall effect on the audience.

The students found it considerably more difficult using English to do something a number of them already felt confident doing. We agreed up front that our focus was not on their English skills - nor would they be marked down for any language-related mistakes. This took a certain amount of pressure off them! They also acknowledged the benefit of making the extra effort to work in English; most expected to have to present in English in the near future in order to get internship places or jobs.

It turned out to be a very positive few days for both myself and the students. They said they had enjoyed the hands-on practise and personal feedback on their presenting styles. I experienced first hand how CLIL works and the advantages having a teaching English background can have when working in an international environment such as a European business school. Most especially, I enjoyed doing what I do with a different emphasis - it felt a little like a holiday, to not focus solely on English! Integrating content and language seems like a logical and sensible step forward to me. I will certainly be doing more of it!

Ever learning

Had another opportunity to learn from a student this week. It was meeting 6 of a block of 10 focusing on job interviewing in English. D. is a bright, motivated young HR professional looking for a new job. She approached me to help get her fit for upcoming job interviews which might be in English. Her being in HR herself makes it doubly interesting; we’re able to look at the process from both sides.

Her English is already pretty good but as is so often the case, she’s advanced enough to be aware of the gaps. The situation also gives me the chance to talk with her in depth about HR stuff which interests me personally. She can follow and understand me perfectly; expressing her own opinions in clear, fluent English is the problem. And here the crux. We were practising arguing a point in an interview situation – target language: linking words such as however, although, nevertheless, for example, in this instance etc.

I set the scene and chose the topic for discussion: interviewing HR manager believes women between 25 and 35 shouldn’t be employed because they’ll all go off and get pregnant (!) D. laughed heartily. Apparently she works with a man who actually holds similar beliefs. She did an excellent job of patiently explaining to misogynistic HR manager (me) why one can’t exclude anyone from the hiring process and that much research proves the value of women to organistions. There wasn’t much use of the target language but she did a good job.

Feedback time. She explained how she can – and does – argue such points with ease and intelligence in German. In English she struggles to find the words and ends up going off in all directions until she can get back to her point. Nothing surprising there. So, to help, I gave her an example of how I would argue the point in English.

Now, this is one of my favourite, hotly argued topics; off I went, with ease and fluency making my point. Ta da! Aren’t I brilliant!?

My lovely student, D. looked at me with fire in her eyes and explained how, when she hears me speak, it’s so obvious that is what one can say. My use of English is elegant and fluent – she understood every word – but recreating such language herself is beyond her.

And that’s when it hit me. I took advantage of the situation to “show off” and in the process, highlighted my student’s weakness. I was enjoying being able to sound off (about something close to my own heart) without considering the impact on D. We had our target language and a focus for the role play, I should have kept to that and helped her use the language she has in a confident way. Instead, I was virtually lecturing her on how to deal with narrow-minded, sexist managers. Something she is perfectly capable of doing herself – in her own language.

This was a wake-up call and I’m very grateful to D. for holding a metaphorical mirror up before me. She reminded me that my job is to concentrate on her language skills, not discuss my favourite topics as if we’re two best friends out socially together. On the one hand, it’s ideal to have common themes to talk about in 1-2-1 coaching. On the other hand, we’re there for a specific reason and as “The Teacher”, I mustn’t loose focus.

A lesson re-learned. Thanks D.