The Choices We Make

Out on a winter walk.

Out for a walk in the snow. Pondering how many people I know who are soooooo busy at the moment. Thinking about how often I hear the cry "I've no time!" "I can't spend much time on this / with you, I have to get X-Y-Z done by yesterday." "There are just not enough hours in the day!"

Here are some observations in random, how-they-occur-to-me order:

• Busy people volunteer to work on a variety of projects
• Busy people tend to find a way to get things done
• Busy people tend to look pretty frazzled and tense a lot of the time
• Busy people suffer from an inability to focus on one thing at a time
• Busy people (in the ELT business) remain low paid

What do we busy people gain from taking on extra (often unpaid) work? As I include myself in this group of individuals who repeatedly agree to take on yet another role / action / task / job, I feel well-placed to offer an insight.

Answer: A sense of purpose. A sense of community and belonging. A degree of recognition from various quarters, most importantly a level of standing among our peers. A sense of satisfaction when something comes together and turns out well. (A sense of disappointment when not, but that's soon forgotten because there's the next project to get involved in...)

Particularly for those of us who work on a freelance basis, there can be a lack of community and camaraderie. We miss out on the chat at the water cooler, in the coffee breaks, after work drinks. It can be a lonely place, self-employment.

At the end of the day, we all have basic human needs ("Givens") which need to be met in order for us to be rounded, happy people. I've sketched a summary of the 9 "Human Givens" as developed by Griffin and Tyrell.

For me, the human givens I fulfill by keeping busy and agreeing to do more than I realistically have time for are:

• community
• attention
• connection
• achievement
• fun
• meaning 
• status

As long as I keep a positive attitude and truly have these "givens" met, I find I can cope with all the extra work, projects and tasks. Provided I remember that the world doesn't stop turning if I am unable to meet one deadline or simply can't join a meeting, I can maintain a healthy state of mind.

If, however, I find myself loosing perspective, getting overly stressed out when things aren't coming together, or suffering sleep deprivation, I know it's time to stop and take stock. I need to ask myself: Which of my human givens are being neglected or short-changed? 

• What about the connection I need with my family and friends?
• How far does the meaning my work hold for me meet my all-round life values and overall sense of meaning?
• How much fun am I really having when I'm so dog tired all the time?
• Am I getting enough quiet, "Me-Time" and privacy?
• How much control do I really have over my environment, projects and work?

If I find myself complaining about how I have no time, can't go out this evening with friends, have to get a report done by yesterday, who is responsible? I made the choice to take on the tasks I have; I freely agreed to participate on another project. How fair is it really to complain? It's up to me to recognise what I gain from all my activities - and what I loose.

Balance. It's all about balance, really. Isn't it. 

Winter Walk