The Choices We Make

Out on a winter walk.

Out for a walk in the snow. Pondering how many people I know who are soooooo busy at the moment. Thinking about how often I hear the cry "I've no time!" "I can't spend much time on this / with you, I have to get X-Y-Z done by yesterday." "There are just not enough hours in the day!"

Here are some observations in random, how-they-occur-to-me order:

• Busy people volunteer to work on a variety of projects
• Busy people tend to find a way to get things done
• Busy people tend to look pretty frazzled and tense a lot of the time
• Busy people suffer from an inability to focus on one thing at a time
• Busy people (in the ELT business) remain low paid

What do we busy people gain from taking on extra (often unpaid) work? As I include myself in this group of individuals who repeatedly agree to take on yet another role / action / task / job, I feel well-placed to offer an insight.

Answer: A sense of purpose. A sense of community and belonging. A degree of recognition from various quarters, most importantly a level of standing among our peers. A sense of satisfaction when something comes together and turns out well. (A sense of disappointment when not, but that's soon forgotten because there's the next project to get involved in...)

Particularly for those of us who work on a freelance basis, there can be a lack of community and camaraderie. We miss out on the chat at the water cooler, in the coffee breaks, after work drinks. It can be a lonely place, self-employment.

At the end of the day, we all have basic human needs ("Givens") which need to be met in order for us to be rounded, happy people. I've sketched a summary of the 9 "Human Givens" as developed by Griffin and Tyrell.

For me, the human givens I fulfill by keeping busy and agreeing to do more than I realistically have time for are:

• community
• attention
• connection
• achievement
• fun
• meaning 
• status

As long as I keep a positive attitude and truly have these "givens" met, I find I can cope with all the extra work, projects and tasks. Provided I remember that the world doesn't stop turning if I am unable to meet one deadline or simply can't join a meeting, I can maintain a healthy state of mind.

If, however, I find myself loosing perspective, getting overly stressed out when things aren't coming together, or suffering sleep deprivation, I know it's time to stop and take stock. I need to ask myself: Which of my human givens are being neglected or short-changed? 

• What about the connection I need with my family and friends?
• How far does the meaning my work hold for me meet my all-round life values and overall sense of meaning?
• How much fun am I really having when I'm so dog tired all the time?
• Am I getting enough quiet, "Me-Time" and privacy?
• How much control do I really have over my environment, projects and work?

If I find myself complaining about how I have no time, can't go out this evening with friends, have to get a report done by yesterday, who is responsible? I made the choice to take on the tasks I have; I freely agreed to participate on another project. How fair is it really to complain? It's up to me to recognise what I gain from all my activities - and what I loose.

Balance. It's all about balance, really. Isn't it. 

Winter Walk

Slowing Down

This popped up on my FB timeline. Am assuming if it's posted there, I can share it here...
Just felt it to be so appropriate for so many of us busy, rushing-everywhere people today. 

Make a Mistake - Discover New Opportunities

My walking commitment has been a bit wobbly for most of this week. I managed an impromptu stroll around a small park in Munich yesterday. And even managed a mad dash to the train station in the evening (apparently this forced sprint was good for me!!)

Apart from that, I have to admit to having failed miserably on Tuesday and Wednesday. No walking at all. Then today, I made the unforgivable mistake of mixing up the times of my lesson. Instead of 1pm, I should have been in the classroom at 8am...

What do I learn from this? Be more careful when adding appointments into my calender. But perhaps more importantly, don't overload the calender in the first place.

I had been worried that this week would be a struggle with back-to-back appointments, classes and meetings from Monday till Saturday. Now, however, I have some free time. A window of extra time to take stock and build up my energy for the last push of the week. I know how much better I'll feel for some fresh air because I got out for 40 mins on Monday. In contrast to the reluctant struggle up the hill on the last walk I did, Monday's walk was much more positive - maybe something to do with staying on the flat path - maybe due to the fact I just felt happier. Either way, it did me (as my mother would say) the world of good.

So, despite having missed a class by mistake I'm happy to be able to take advantage of some extra time and get myself out for a spot of fresh air and exercise. For me, an unexpected opportunity; for my students, an early start to the weekend.

But I don't feel like it today...

I did get out for my walk today. After 2 days without sticking to my new routine, I really didn't feel like it today either. In the interest of psycho-scientific research, I made myself trudge up the hill and complete a short round. On a decidedly cold day, I was wrapped up in hat, scarf and no small amount of negativity.

I'd like to say that after 10 minutes I was glad to have made the effort and I was benefiting from the fresh air. Instead, I was thinking how little time it takes to undo a fragile, newly developing habit. I shall have to start again from today.

As I write this, I'm feeling the knock-on effects of having been at my pc most of the day. The daily walk really is a very important thing, for both body and mind. Tomorrow is another day; I'll aim to get that walk in and manage it with a lighter, more willing heart.

A Public Holiday

October 3rd is a public holiday in Germany. In our house, a day off usually mean a chance to catch up on stuff that doesn't get done in the busy working week. And so the plan on Tuesday was to take the opportunity of a work-free day to do some - work!!!

Over breakfast, as is my wont, I settled down to soak up some more of my current book. So enthralling was the book, and so quiet was the house, I kept reading until 11am. The beak came when I was asked to drive my kids to and from places. In brief, I spent the public holiday completely NOT doing that which I'd intended to do. Apart from - and here I am pleased to share - my daily walk!!!

It was a glorious October day so using a slot between car journeys, I walked a different route from my usual. The sky was its best shinning sky blue, a few skimpy clouds majestically skimmed the horizon, a buzzard leisurely circled and glided above the treeline. Still feeling a bit under the weather from my cold, half an hour along the river was just right.

Today, however is a different story. The stuff I'd intended to do yesterday, now has to be squashed into 3 1/2 hours before I head off to teach. Getting the daily walk in will be a bit of challenge. Will report back tomorrow as to whether - or, better to say - how I manage it!

Daily Walk Commitment - Days 2 &3

Day 2
Despite feeling distinctly under the weather yesterday, I got myself up and away from my desk and went for my walk. Nothing of great interest to report. The only moment of note (for me, anyway) was when I reached the point of "left for the longer walk / right for the shorter walk". I kept going left and benefited from the longer route.

One of many woodpiles along the way

Day 3
Today, it was somewhat easier to get myself out. I made a conscious decision to put my walking shoes on before doing anything else. I know that when I get caught up with stuff, it's easier to put off the walk. While walking, I pondered on how perhaps I'm beginning to construct a new habit. Perhaps I'm laying down the route for a new neural pathway in the area of my brain where the habit of staying in and sitting at my desk has been embedded?

I was also thinking of Autumns past. This time last year, I was out and about in sandals and t-shirt still. It was that weekend of 30 degree temperatures. Lovely! I remembered walks pushing a baby buggy while waiting for my daughter to finish her swimming lesson. The luxury of a quiet stroll with nothing more to consider than getting back to pick up my little swimmer and go home for supper.

With my daily walking, I want to focus on today and the details I see around me in that moment now. To truly soak up that moment and feel gratitude for my amazing environment. Invariably, I end up listing a number of things that I  need to do as soon as I get home. Perhaps I need to add an additional goal to the daily walk - switch off and live in that moment.

Classic Autumn Colours

Autumnal Abundance

Commitment

I recently read in one of my coaching study books - can't remember which one, I'm reading quite a few simultaneously (I know, I know - let's just not go there right now, OK?) about commitment to goals. In order to stick to the decision to do something for ourselves - let's say "exercise" for arguments sake - we stand a better chance of staying on track if we buddy up with someone.

So. Here's the thing; being such a sedentary person (remember the multi-book reading habit), I'm beginning to suffer the effects - lower back pain, stiff & heavy legs, general poor cardiovascular fitness. Also, the general stress of DOING TOO MUCH (again another topic for another blog - and I'm sure I'm not alone when it comes to needing to look at that debate), causes an overload in my brain.

Solution? 20-30 minutes daily walk. A march up the hill at the back of our house and a steadily-paced walk over the fields. It really is a most delightful route. We live in an utterly breath-taking area - which conversely actually provides me the opportunity to take plenty of oxygen-rich breaths. I love it once I'm out and up the hill.

And the thinking I manage to do...Loads of thoughts. I love it! Today, the thoughts centered on coaching and mentoring for educators. But, how can I offer coaching and mentoring guidance if I can't follow my own advice?


Solution? Get a buddy or two to help me stick to my goal of taking a daily walk. In lieu of an actual walking buddy right now - hubby is out of action with torn ligaments - I thought of posting daily reports in FB. If I know people are aware of my commitment to action, I'm more likely to avoid loss-of-face by posting each day. Then I thought, that might get irritating for those with no interest in "walking with" me.

Solution? The blog post! Ideal - I'll post the link and anyone interested in checking up on my progress can pop by when then want. Brilliant, don't ya think?!

Now, I have an added incentive to maintain my daily walks. And while Autumn is spoiling me with such spectacular displays of colour, it's even more of a pleasure.








Stated Aim: to walk every day for 20-30 mins starting today.

Promise to self: will post a short insight into thoughts on walk and, most specifically, the fact that I did walk!

Time frame: 1 whole week (with the option to extend another week)

This is a personal experiment on how commited I am to my goal and how disciplined I can be in keeping to my promise.

Watch this space.....